Club Sandwich, Anyone?

I know there is a name for my generation besides "boomers".  There's a name for those of us taking care of our elderly parents plus raising our grandkids.  So I did some googling.

The "sandwich generation" is the group of people who are taking care of their elderly parents plus raising their kids.

The term "club sandwich" usually refers to people who are taking care of three generations.

"Grandparents raising grandchildren" is -- well, is self-explanatory.

Hmmm....  well, I'm not taking care of three generations, but I am here in California to help my elderly mom with a lot of the day-to-day chores.  Plus, I am raising (adopted him as a toddler) my awesome grandson.  My grown boys -- I am not taking care of them.

So what am I called?  I would still place me in the "sandwich". 

LABELS

Well, who really cares what I am labeled, anyway?  The only value I see for having a label is to give a quick definition to my living activity in one simple phrase.

I find it silly to actually assign a label.  Through my surfing, I also found that there are lots of studies or observations about my living situation.  The number one "revelation" through these studies/observations seems to be the high stress level that a person such as myself has.  I just had to laugh at that!  So can I blame my stress -- and therefore my lack of motivation -- on my living situation and responsibilities to other generations in my family?

According to all the other writers that I briefly skimmed this morning, the answer to that question is a resounding "yes".

What I find really odd is why do all these researchers and writers consider my and others' like situations so unique?  They make it sound like this has never happened before, that it's unique to our current times. 

EXTENDED FAMILIES

Has anyone ever heard of "extended families"?  That's all these new labels are talking about, except these labels are trying to make it sound unique and therefore we can now justify (blame?) some behaviors people have who are "sandwiched".  I tend to feel that families during the 1940s and 1950s were the unique ones because we saw a great decline in extended families living under the same roof.  My impression is that families have historically had their adult children take care of their elderly and also have a hand in raising their grandchildren.

Maybe I'm way off here, but hasn't helping to take care of one's family members always been the norm? I feel that the privelged life style we have created (expecially after the war) has led to many more nuclear families being able to live in separate housing.  We also have created such things as nursing homes and senior living. So today we don't need the family to continue taking a direct hand in caring for its elderly.

UNIQUE FOR TODAY?

Maybe what makes this living situation unique for today is the makeup of the nuclear family.  The family changed during the war.  Many women were now working outside of the home and continue to do so today. In fact, today it's just expected that women go get a job or have a career.  Women working used to be thought of in a more negative light because there was no one in the home taking care of the home and other family members (such as the children) and that the man must not be able to support his family well enough.

There are many other factors that have contributed to the change in the nuclear family, but none of them as great as accepting women being able to work outside of the home.  And this permission has been made doable by new inventions and technology such as the washing machine, fast food restaurants and ready-to-cook foods for meals, and buying ready-made clothing and other items for the house.  Those things may sound silly, but it's true.  A woman's day used to be consumed with cooking alone.  An entire day (not hours, but DAY) used to dedicated to laundry.  Women don't have to make anything any more, either -- they just drive to the store and buy it already made! 

So with no one in the home any more, there is no one to help take care of the elderly, very young, and the infirm members of the family.

We've outsourced!