Yikes!

I love animals.

Currently I claim two cats, but I think I'm feeding 7, maybe 8.  Plus 'possums and an occasional raccoon.

I keep a feeder-full of dry cat food on the outside window shelf for all the cats/critters. Not only is it an easy place for the cats to jump up and eat in peace from Francis, our chicken, but we can watch the animals from inside without scaring the more wild ones.

Cat inventory:
   My 2
   Mom's 2
   My brother's, 1

Then there is:
   Mr. Stray
   Willie Boy
   And an occasional fluffy pale orange cat (this one I think really does have a home over on the next street.)

So that is 7 to 8 cats.

Now, Mr. Stray and Willie Boy definitely are homeless.  If they aren't, then their owners should be strung up by their little toes because they are not getting fed or de-fleaed or pet to keep dirt and debris off their coats.

The other day I was doing my morning routine of feeding the stray/outside cats and chicken from a can of cat food, when Willie Boy jumped up onto the shelf to eat.  My heart just stopped.

He was red all around his hind end and much of his middle, with some red on his cheek.

I thought it was blood.

As he came over to bonk his head against me, I realized that the red was in fact paint, not blood.

*whew*

So before I would put food into the dish for him to eat, I thought I had better try to clean him up, as the red paint was literally getting all over everything that was in his vicinity.  Plus, if he tried to clean himself up, I was afraid the paint might make him sick.

So I grabbed a wet rag and a bucket of warm soapy water, and proceded to try to get the paint off of him.  He wanted food first, and then be pet, so I was having a hard time trying to get the cloth to do a good job.  Plus he didn't like the seriousness of what I was trying to do.

After watching my futile attempts at trying to clean the paint off of Willie Boy, my mom suggested we just try to get him into a pet carrier and take him to the groomers.  Sold!  Sounded like a great idea to me.  Now to try to get a stray cat into a pet carrier...

Although Willie Boy is sweet, friendly and gentle, we were pretty sure that he had never been in a carrier.  Our own cats despise being put in them, so a stray cat would probably be terrified.  And right we were.  With the two of us trying to get him inside, we failed miserably, and Willie Boy was getting frantic to the point where we were having a hard time running interference between him and the fence that he was trying to bolt.

My mom went and got a towel.  We finally successfully got that thrown over him, thus containing him again.  This time after only a couple of attempts, we finally got Willie plus the towel inside the carrier. 

Poor Willie Boy!  He looked so pathetic covered in goopy red and now tangled in the towel inside that carrier, looking out at us with his big wild green eyes.  From his look, I knew it would take awhile before he would let me near him again.

And he had to sit inside the carrier until the groomer's opened at 9:00 a.m.  It was now about 7:30 a.m.  I tried to feed him some food, but by now he was pretty upset.

Finally, it was time to go.  We got him in and it took them an hour and a half to get him clean.  They had to use a whitening on his fur (he's a gray and white tuxedo tabby) to get the pink out.  When we picked him up, he was so soft and clean!  They put a brown and green bow on him, too, which I got the feeling he wasn't very thrilled with.

As soon as we let him out at home, he went over and pottied in the dirt.  He reluctantly came back to the shelf and wolfed down a half a can of food while we petted and praised him, but then took off at a gallop over the fence.

It was three days later before we saw him again.

Big City Advantages

As much as I miss my home and life in Taos, I am appreciating some of the things that the "Big City" has to offer.

One of them is summer camps for the kids.  My little son went to Y camp (YMCA) for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and today he will be leaving for Church camp.  He loved the Y camp, and now I'm hoping he'll love Church camp as well.  It's Camp St. Nicholas up at Frazier Park above L.A.

St. Luke (our parish in Garden Grove) has a bus that will be leaving right from our Church parking lot after Church today.  The bus will take them straight up to camp.  This is the same arrangement we had when my boys were little and they went to camp right from Holy Virgin Mary's parking lot up in L.A.  My boys have fond memories of those camp days, and now it's my little one's turn for building memories.

This time we have an added advantage.  My brother and his wife also grew up at St. Luke's, and the friends they made there are still very much a part of their life.  Every year since they've been married (maybe longer?) they have gotten together every summer with all their friends and gone camping at the beach.  All of their kids have grown up together and of course are part of these yearly camping adventures, but the group has grown to include extended families of everyone -- which includes us.  This group has grown from about 15 people or so to now around 200 people!

We've gone camping with them once before because we were down here at the right time, and this year we will also be going.  The advantage this time will be that my little son will be part of all the kids who just got back from Camp St. Nicholas, so hopefully he will have gotten to know some of the kids at Church a bit better -- and maybe even found a buddy or two that he likes to hang with.

I can only hope.  He has found a couple of friends to hang with from high school, but it would be nice to have some friends from Church.

Another Downside of Surveys

Aaaahhhh!!!

*take a deep breath*

Yeah, doing surveys online makes a tad of money, but good grief!  I have soooo much stuff now coming into my inbox that there are mornings (like today) where I just don't know where to start!

So I start by taking a deep breath and then drinking my coffee while reading my family's latest goings-on on Facebook.  Then I look for all my personal emails to read and respond to,  along the way deleting what is clearly not even worth opening.  These are the ones that don't even pay me to open them, but somehow I got signed up for them in the process of doing some of the surveys (yes, that's one of the downsides of doing surveys, like somehow getting signed up for newsletters for things that have nothing to do with me -- like arthritis or dementia.  Maybe because I'm "old" that they assume I need this stuff????  lol).

Then I go through all the emails that pay me for reading them (something like a penny to 5 cents just to open them).  But these, I found out (like Panda and Inbox Dollars) generate more emails -- which, although when trying to clean out my inbox makes it irritating, I have to keep in mind that it's one more penny or nickel that has just come my way.  These, by the way, look like they're going to take forever to build up to the cash-out level... :(

Then I've got all those emails for "make $4500 a month in your pajamas" type of emails.  Okay, I confess...  I actually keep some of these "just in case".  I have no clue whether any of them work or not, but I'm on the side that they're just scams.  Some day I just may plop down $50 to see if one of them do work.  If they do, you'd better believe I'll be back here reporting on it!

Then I get down to the surveys.  Since I'm writing on my blog, I obviously haven't started my surveys yet this morning.  It seems I ended up signing myself up for even more surveys yesterday from doing surveys yesterday.  Sometimes that happens.  It's like a snowball effect -- sign up for one, and you end up signing up for five more.

What I do when I'm ready to start my surveys is to go through my printed list of surveys (yes, I have a printed list similar to the one in my last post) and first do the ones that I get paid for in cash -- especially the ones that go to my PayPal account.  Those may take me the entire day, by the way.  It's like I start one, either am disqualified or actually get to finish and get paid for it, and that survey company then has others ready for me.  So I can actually be on one survey site for several hours.  And sometimes I only end up making 75 cents!  lol  ...oh, well...

At least it's SOMEthing.  I'm currently unemployed with a gazillion job aps out there and no bites.  boo-hoo.  'Course, $20 isn't even paying my cell phone bill, which I upgraded to an actual plan.  sheesh  But it does look like it's going to be change every now and then.

Back to doing surveys...

List of Legitimate Surveys

Believe it or not, I have actually received some money for things I am doing online!  Whoopee!

The number one activity I am doing is surveys.  I have actually received a check in the mail.  Not much yet, but hey, it's a start.  And I've received money into my PayPal account, which bought me more smoke juice. ;)

I don't think you can make a lot of money -- or even support yourself -- from doing surveys online.  It would be nice if I was proved wrong, but for one thing, you can only make between something like 50 cents to about $3 for each survey.  And surveys take on average of about 10 to 30 minutes to complete.  Not only that, you will be spending time clicking through surveys that you won't be qualified to take.  So the dollar vs. time factor means you won't be able to support yourself. 

Yes, there are surveys that say you can earn from $15 to $75, but those are just scams.  The way to get that money (if it's even at all possible) is you have to sign up for so many "offers" -- which most require you to subscribe to (i.e. pay for or put up a credit card number), and will definitely put more spam into your email inbox.  I have actually tried a couple and just never seem to get to the end of them (even after almost two hours!!), so never got the $500 Wal-Mart gift card, or got the $75.  So I consider those just scams.

But it IS a few dollars here and there that go directly into an account (like PayPal) or a check mailed to you.  A lot of the survey sites also or only pay reward points that can be redeemed for items.  Personally, I prefer cash; I'm not a shopper, so don't like exchanging my reward points for "things" (if you know what I mean).  And, most of the surveys also enter you into drawings for a chance to earn extra money (kind of like the lottery in my opinion; I doubt I'll ever win, but appreciate that I've been entered just for doing a survey, plus getting a bit of money into my account).

Here's my list of survey sites (in alpha order) so far that are or seem to be legitimate.  I will update this list for you periodically.

Name of Survey                                                        
5in5Now
     Mostly get paid for reading e-mails .......................PayPal
      (but have not earned a thing from this one yet!)
Consumer Advisory Panel ..........................................PayPal; 1100 pts =$10
Flavored Cash (mainly get pd for reading e-mails).... PayPal
Focus Line Surveys.....................................................min. $20 for payout
Get Paid To Try
    Get paid for reading e-mails
    Sign up to try products/services, but I feel it's
    a little scammy, so have not really tried this
   part of it...................................................................min. $20; PayPal
Global Test Market
     Check mailed.........................................................1000 pts = $50
Harris Poll...................................................................only reward points
Honest Insite...............................................................min. $30; PayPal
Inbox Dollars
     Check mailed..........................................................min. $30; PayPal
Mind Field
     Check mailed...........................................................min. $5
My Points.....................................................................4550 pts = $25; PayPal
My Survey....................................................................1150 pts = $10; PayPal
NPD (Sweepland)........................................................
Only Cash Surveys.......................................................$20 min; PayPal
Opinion Outpost
     Check mailed...........................................................$25 min.
Opinion Square............................................................Gift cards
Opinions Here..............................................................
Panda
     Get paid to read e-mails
     Also have what they call an evaluation, which
        requires you to sign up for something (sometimes
        with a credit card) & then evaluate for $$...........$50 min; PayPal
Reward TV..................................................................drawings & prizes to buy w/points
Send Earnings
     Get paid to read e-mails
     Check mailed..........................................................$30 min.
Springboard America
     Check mailed........ .................................................$50 min.
Survey Downline..........................................................$20 min; PayPal
      This also has the opportunity to have friends
        sign up and get credit from them, also
Survey Club Research.................................................Prepaid debit MC is an option; $10 min.
Survey Spot.................................................................1000 pts = $10; PayPal
Surveyhead................................................................. $25 min; PayPal
Surveys.com X ? X
Sweepland (same as NPD)
Synovate (Global Opinion Panels)..............................5000 points = $5
Toluna
     Check mailed..........................................................60,000 PTS = $20
Valued Opinions..........................................................$20 min.
Vindale........................................................................$50 min; PayPal or check mailed
Zoom Panel..................................................................reward points

Did you hear me?

It's easy to slip into the mode of feeling sorry for myself.  Especially when I feel like I'm not supposed to speak, but just do.

My mom, now 81, will cut me off in the middle of a sentence, sometimes loudly talking over me.  It's like she's trying to squash anything I'm saying, as though I'm not supposed to speak at all, and if I do, what the heck do I know?  How dare I even show I have an opinion or have any knowledge that might be useful!

...especially when it comes to where things are or what happened...

I can't blame her poor memory on age; it's always been there, but it just seems to be more pronounced now.  Actually, all of her behavior seems to be more exaggerated now.  Her poor memory I really blame on her selection about what she wants to remember -- or how.  She's a drama queen, remember, so when she regurgitates something from memory it can sometimes take on a pretty warped recitation.  And a lot of times it can be twisted for the moment's mood and audience.  Frustrating!

But many times it's interrupting me to ask for information that I was just telling her.  If she had listened instead of interrupting, she would have already known.

I sometimes wonder if you revert back to childhood when you get older.  My teenager also does about the same thing.  I sometimes feel I'm living with two teenagers.  It's like they don't have the patience to wait for me to finish a sentence, so butt in with the question that my sentence was already answering.  Or that I don't know what I'm talking about, that they both know more than anyone and the nerve of me for even speaking knowledge or expressing an opinion!

And how come I didn't tell them what time or where we were going?  Uh-huh, another case of hearing but not paying attention or interrupting or talking at the same time.  Or even walking out of the room in the middle of information being imparted.

There are times (yes, even to my mother) that I say, "Did you hear me?"  Most of the time I try to say it as kindly as possible, but come on, if you're an adult, just being asked that no matter how nicely has got to put one on the attack.  But when it's important, I do have to make sure the information was absorbed.  The times I'm not as nice in asking that is when I'm just so tired of repeating myself in little bits and pieces all day long for the both of them.

I love them both dearly, but I'll tell you there are days when I wonder why I bother even being in the same room with either of them.

Oh, I know why...  they want me to be there to do something for them -- like cook or the laundry, or keep them "company" while watching TV.

Habits

It's now been over a year since I have been using electric cigarettes.  They have become a part of my life, part of my routines, and regular cigarettes are no longer a part of my life.

Just like any other habit, I have learned the nuances of vaping, such as how many drops to put in the filter for that just-right vape, or when I need to wash out the filter, or when the atomizer is getting ready to go out so I'd better order another one.  Things like that.

My favorite e-cig is the Vapor Tokers Fatty USB.  Vapor Tokers rebrands the mega 510 very nicely with very good prices and shipping, so I stay with them.  They are out of Hawaii, and the shipping time has been awesome.  I go through about two atomizers a month.  I just had to replace my USB battery after about four months, and the replacement went out in three days. *sigh*  So I have to order another one.

But the USB e-cig is AWESOME!  I don't have to charge it, but just keep it plugged in to my computer, or my truck while I drive (I have a plug for the cigarette lighter that takes a USB plug), or by my bed or chair plugged into an AC plug with the USB plug in it.  But, if I have to be mobile, I just unplug the cord from the end of the battery and take the e-cig with me -- and it stays charged for several hours!  It is so practical for me because I always have a freshly-charged battery with little or no fuss at all.  I am completely sold on the USB batteries because I don't have to fuss about charging and recharging batteries.

So one of the habits/routines that I now do is to grab my e-cig still attached to its cord, my bottle of smoke juice, and just plug the cord into my truck plug (or wall plug if going to sit and read).  It's like grabbing my pack of cigarettes along with a lighter and an ashtray.  So even though the habit is the same, the items to support the habit have changed.

Which brings me to my other thoughts.

The "experts" say that nicotine is addictive.

I say BS.

And I'll tell you why:

When I first started vaping, I ordered "low" nicotine smoke juice.  After awhile, I switched and went to "zero" nicotine.  After about a month of "zero" nicotine, I went back to the "low" because my allergies were out of control and I remembered a couple of doctors telling me that nicotine does have its benefits -- which they didn't have the time to tell me why, but I assume one benefit is to help dry up my snot nose and weepy eyes because my allergies are never as bad as they are when I don't smoke.  My allergies have always been ridiculous when I'm not smoking and my medication intake about triples when not smoking.

But about six months ago I decided to go to "zero" nicotine again regardless of my allergies becoming miserable, because I was worried about what all the "experts" say about nicotine being bad for you.  I figured that maybe Alegra and Claritin etc. would be better for me than nicotine.  So I've been vaping "zero" nicotine for about six months now (and doubled on on those 24-hour allergy pills).

So, if the nicotine is the addictive factor in smoking cigarettes, then all those nicotine patches and gums and etc. are correct in weaning you off of that drug, right?   And that you would be "jonesing" because of no nicotine, right?

Welllllll........... I'm here to tell you that I'm sucking on a dead battery just so I'm not falling apart from not being able to vape.  And remember, I don't use nicotine.  And sucking on a dead battery works sort of okay; it just isn't nearly as satisfying because I can't take that big lungful of vapor.

So obviously it's not the nicotine that's a problem; it's the HABIT.  Habits are horrifyingly hard to stop, and I'm having a hard time not practicing my vaping habit.  It's amazing how stupid all of us can be to believe all that crap out there.

Moving is Tough

Moving is Tough




Thanks for the guest post by Jo Levy



No one tells you about all the things you're supposed to do before you move into your first place. I had no idea it would be such an undertaking getting all my utilities set up, and when I moved in I still forgotten about the sewer! It took over a week to get everything straightened out, but thankfully I have long ago gotten wireless Internet from http://www.wirelessinternetproviders.net/high-speed-internet-providers so at least I had Internet access to look up all the other utility companies’ phone numbers. As if moving isn't hassle enough, the moving truck got lost on its way out here, so it took an additional three days to get all my boxes. My brother is a saint for coming with me all this way, and I'm really looking forward to setting up shop in my new place. Lucky for me, I got a great deal on this apartment, otherwise I might have just packed everything up and gone back home. I really miss having my mom take care of me!

Club Sandwich, Anyone?

I know there is a name for my generation besides "boomers".  There's a name for those of us taking care of our elderly parents plus raising our grandkids.  So I did some googling.

The "sandwich generation" is the group of people who are taking care of their elderly parents plus raising their kids.

The term "club sandwich" usually refers to people who are taking care of three generations.

"Grandparents raising grandchildren" is -- well, is self-explanatory.

Hmmm....  well, I'm not taking care of three generations, but I am here in California to help my elderly mom with a lot of the day-to-day chores.  Plus, I am raising (adopted him as a toddler) my awesome grandson.  My grown boys -- I am not taking care of them.

So what am I called?  I would still place me in the "sandwich". 

LABELS

Well, who really cares what I am labeled, anyway?  The only value I see for having a label is to give a quick definition to my living activity in one simple phrase.

I find it silly to actually assign a label.  Through my surfing, I also found that there are lots of studies or observations about my living situation.  The number one "revelation" through these studies/observations seems to be the high stress level that a person such as myself has.  I just had to laugh at that!  So can I blame my stress -- and therefore my lack of motivation -- on my living situation and responsibilities to other generations in my family?

According to all the other writers that I briefly skimmed this morning, the answer to that question is a resounding "yes".

What I find really odd is why do all these researchers and writers consider my and others' like situations so unique?  They make it sound like this has never happened before, that it's unique to our current times. 

EXTENDED FAMILIES

Has anyone ever heard of "extended families"?  That's all these new labels are talking about, except these labels are trying to make it sound unique and therefore we can now justify (blame?) some behaviors people have who are "sandwiched".  I tend to feel that families during the 1940s and 1950s were the unique ones because we saw a great decline in extended families living under the same roof.  My impression is that families have historically had their adult children take care of their elderly and also have a hand in raising their grandchildren.

Maybe I'm way off here, but hasn't helping to take care of one's family members always been the norm? I feel that the privelged life style we have created (expecially after the war) has led to many more nuclear families being able to live in separate housing.  We also have created such things as nursing homes and senior living. So today we don't need the family to continue taking a direct hand in caring for its elderly.

UNIQUE FOR TODAY?

Maybe what makes this living situation unique for today is the makeup of the nuclear family.  The family changed during the war.  Many women were now working outside of the home and continue to do so today. In fact, today it's just expected that women go get a job or have a career.  Women working used to be thought of in a more negative light because there was no one in the home taking care of the home and other family members (such as the children) and that the man must not be able to support his family well enough.

There are many other factors that have contributed to the change in the nuclear family, but none of them as great as accepting women being able to work outside of the home.  And this permission has been made doable by new inventions and technology such as the washing machine, fast food restaurants and ready-to-cook foods for meals, and buying ready-made clothing and other items for the house.  Those things may sound silly, but it's true.  A woman's day used to be consumed with cooking alone.  An entire day (not hours, but DAY) used to dedicated to laundry.  Women don't have to make anything any more, either -- they just drive to the store and buy it already made! 

So with no one in the home any more, there is no one to help take care of the elderly, very young, and the infirm members of the family.

We've outsourced!

About Articles in this Category

I've created this category in my blog to include writings about products and/or web sites that I'm reviewing in exchange for payment.  I will give my honest opinion about each of them.

Switching

Okay, so I'm tired of sending in non-working batteries every week. Green Smoke's batteries just do not last long for me. Remember, I'm a "chain vaper". I'm sitting here with seven (I think) batteries, and only two work. My new usb does not work, either. It takes 3-4 hours for the one battery to recharge, and because I drain a battery in about 20 to 30 minutes, I'm not able to vape until one of the batteries is recharged.

Fortunately, I've also got a Toker 1 from Vapor Tokers. Not great as far as the draw, but the batteries recharge in about an hour and the battery I'm using lasts that long, too. So at least I'm never out.

Vapor Tokers came out with a new type of e-cig called the "Fatty". Based on their advertising (and because I was so frustrated over non-working batteries), I went ahead a bought one. And all I can say about that is WOW.

Now, if you're into looks, this e-cig won't be for you. It's a big fat (thus the name "fatty") black thing, rather long, that is bulky while holding. A person certainly can't hold this like a regular cigarette! In my opinion, it's ugly. It's also a 3-parter -- well, actually four if you count the little screw-on covering to hide where the atomizer connects to the battery. It takes some getting used to just on the design.

Another thing that I don't like and that took me awhile to get used to is that this battery has a little button on it that you have to push to activate the battery and thus the atomizer. What an irritation!

BUT -- and it's a bit "but" -- this battery lasts me for several hours!!! Remember, I'm a "chain vaper", so for me to say it lasts several hours is a dream come true! And the battery only takes about an hour and a half to two hours to recharge!!! It's probably because of the little button thingy... which I have found depressed against flotsom in my purse... *sigh*

The draw on the Fatty is also MUCH better than the Toker 1. So I've officially got a new e-cig! Vapor Tokers also has an adapter ring that allows me to use my atomizers from the Toker 1 on the Fatty battery. And those atomizers work much better on the Fatty battery -- in fact, are wonderful! VT has just come out with an atomizer that is the Toker 1 atomizer, but now fit the Fatty battery and does not have that extra piece to cover the connection (for esthetic purposes only).

I just don't care how it looks any more. IT WORKS!

Six Months Into Vaping

Just thought I'd update everyone how my vaping has been going.

Batteries are always a problem, it seems, but not much of one to quit vaping and go back to analogs. I have four batteries, so I can have enough going.

I also picked up two more batteries from Vapor Tokers. I thought I would try them to compare another brand with Green Smoke. Vapor Tokers are actually the Blu e-cig with a different name. They are very long, a 3-piece. Their juice is not great, but then I've become accustomed to Johnson Creek Espresso and their Original -- both of which I love! The Vapor Toker batteries last a long time -- long enough where the one being charged is ready when the one I'm using finally quits.

The down side to Vapor Tokers: the draw is too light for me. It's not like a real cigarette. It's too airy and easy to draw with hardly any resistance. I do like the mouthpiece, though -- it's like a cigarette holder with the flattened mouthpiece. It's plastic, but because the atomizer is not inside the mouthpiece, it doesn't get hot. It's also easy to drop the smoke juice in, too. But the draw is the biggest problem for me -- and the most important -- so it is my #2 choice.

Green Smoke is still the best as far as imitating a real cigarette. And their Customer Service is a DREAM! When the batteries have quit, new ones are sent out immediately with no hassle whatsoever! Vapor Tokers, on the other hand -- although nice enough -- made me feel guilty that my atomizer quit working or that one of my batteries died. And the second time I had something go out, they never did send out a replacement and I had to recontact them.

Since getting over my fear of not having a real cig and now having enough batteries in stock to keep me going, I have not had a real cigarette since March with absolutely no problem AT ALL. As long as I have enough e-cigs charged up, I have had no problem switching over to e-cigs.

I have tried the usb cig, and it's great -- when it works! I guess this is another of those new technologies that need some work. I'm waiting for yet another replacement (they're out of stock at the moment). Speaking of new technologies, I'm also waiting for better batteries. The ones I have at the moment from both Green Smoke and Vapor Tokers are hanging in there, but there is an intrinsic problem with batteries no matter what the purpose is (like electric car batteries). I'm sure it's coming where battery life becomes better, but until then I believe that all batteries (including those used for e-cigs) will be problematic, so I live with it and have enough on hand!

So I'm still a Green Smoke fan, and look forward to that full-lung draw with my coffee when I wake up in the morning. It's the best! I signed up to be an affiliate, so if anyone wants to order from Green Smoke, use the Discount Code 10-17554 and you'll get 10% off your order from me.

Happy vaping!

The Ins and Outs of Vaping

So I've had my e-cig since before Christmas (my Christmas gift to myself).

I didn't get it for all the usual reasons of "it's healthier", etc. I got it because I LOVE to smoke. Period. I wanted to continue my habit without all the new restraints that have been inflicted upon smokers.

I got it because I go to California a lot and it's gotten absolutely ridiculous to find a place to smoke except in my truck. And now that's about been taken away because you can't smoke in your vehicle if you've got a kid in it.

I drive a LOT. For hockey. So of course I've got my kid in the truck. I accidentally found info on the internet about e-cigs, which I'd never heard of before.

Now, it's taken me awhile to get all the bugs worked out vaping insteading of smoking. Things like keeping the batteries charged, learning how to refill with e-juice, finding the right flavor, etc.

It's a similar but different habit.

My first requirements were that it be as similar to a cigarette as possible. So all batteries had to be fully charged and ready, the flavor had to be as close to "ashtray" as possible, and the draw had to be the same. Plus the "throat hit" had to be comparable.

I did a lot of research once I learned about e-cigs. The one that sounded the best with the best reviews was Green Smoke. It sounds like it's the Cadillac of e-cigs. Mind you, it's a little pricier, too. It also sounds like ALL e-cigs have battery problems. They all have the ion lithium rechargeable batteries, and Green Smoke does, too. So my first problem was keeping the two batteries I ordered charged. I finally ordered two more batteries with chargers, and that looks like it will keep me vaping without having to supplement with cigarettes (analogs). Green Smoke is one of the few who also are only a two-part e-cig, too, which appealed to me as I wanted as hassle-free as possible. And the reviews of their customer service are golden -- and so far, the reviews have not been wrong!

The cartridges I received have a sweet cigar-like taste. I'm not fond of it. They didn't have any 0 or low nicotine at the moment, so had to go with "medium". The cartridges are piling up, too, by the way. I don't have the heart to throw them out. So I did more research and found out that people refill their e-cigs with "e-juice". I found some 0 nicotine juice and tried that.

Now, I have allergies. I have smoked for years, and then would just wake up and was sick of smoking and then quit for years. The years I didn't smoke I was sick just about all the time with my allergies, including migraines. During the time I was vaping 0 nicotine my allergies became out of control, and I had one migraine where I had to go home from work. That period made me remember years ago a couple of doctors telling me that nicotine did have some benefits -- what, I didn't ask, because the doctors didn't have any more time to talk/visit. So, not particularly liking the sweet cigar flavor, I ordered some unflavored juice that only came in high nicotine. Well, that did the opposite -- dried me up so much I almost had nose bleeds!

So ordered some low nicotine juice in different flavors. Whala! Perfect! Allergies are in check without the threat of nose bleeds. And because I ordered different flavors, I am now able to find flavors that I prefer!

And because I have enough charged batteries on hand, I haven't had to supplement my vaping with analogs!

But the flavors are interesting. To start with, an e-juice called 555 is the absolute closest to "ashtray" with barely any noticeable trace of sweetness. This was really important to me coming off of analogs. I also found that Johnson Creek's "Domestic" was pretty close, too, but had a hint of sweet. Next is Johnson Creek's "Original" which has even a bit more sweetness to it. But those three are the best to come closest to "ashtray".

Not having had analogs for awhile, I'm finding that a hint of sweet is rather nice. I tried "Espresso" from Johnson Creek, too, and it's really nice in the morning, but when it gets low in the cart it has a nasty taste for me. I have to keep the cart topped off to enjoy the flavor more. I find I like the sweeter ones in the morning, turning to no sweet later on in the day. But I'm still working on finding one that has an odor that my little son doesn't find objectionable. Yes, apparently some people CAN smell them! So far, the juice that automatically comes in the Green Smoke carts are objectionable to him. I think the 555 and Johnson Creek Domestic are going to be the ones agreeable to both of us.

As for habits. It's interesting that I can light a cigarette and just let it burn in the ashtray. Just to have it burn is okay for me. Is it the smell? Does the smoke have something in it to satisfy me? Is it just the thought that a cigarette is going? But the one thing that I'm having a hard time with is the time limit: when a cigarette is done burning, I'm done smoking for awhile. With an e-cig, there is no time limit. I can "chain vape" all day long, no problem. I find myself a little uneasy about "do I keep vaping?", "do I need to set it down for awhile?" In other words, it's MY decision, not the e-cig defining the time limit.

Another habit: I can't put the e-cig between my teeth and hold it. It's too heavy! I also can't hold the e-cig between my fingers like a cigarette because of the weight. I now hold it sort of in my palm, covering the cartridge with my hand to cool the cart between several puffs if I've sucked on it too much (therefore making the cart on the hot side). I used to tap/roll the cig ash on the ashtray all the time; now I cover the cart of the e-cig with my hand.

And to just grab a cig and light it quickly can be missed. Yes, I can just pick up the e-cig and start vaping, but when the cartridge needs to be changed out it's a further step. I find I need to keep several cartridges ready when I'm driving. Here at the computer, I just have an e-juice bottle at the ready with several cartridges "percolating" with e-juice.

I'm looking into getting a usb e-cig. No battery, just plugs into the usb port of the computer or car charger. That may be the way to go. Then use the battery ones for restaurants, etc.

So is the fuss and change of some habits worth it? In my opinion, absolutely! I can still smoke anywhere I need to (vaping at work now), my clothes aren't getting cig burns, the house and truck smell better, and I'm hoping that my family will find me better smelling when I go to visit. Not to mention the MESS! Oh, my... the cig ashes everywhere (even though I'm careful) is pathetic. Have my desk cleaned up now, but now have to work on the truck. And not having to empty and clean ashtrays and where to put the butts is another biggie for me. I have always burned my butts in the fireplace, and use a coffee can to dump my ashtray in to just so the cig butts are not sitting open in the house for further odor or possible fire in the trash can.

It's my new toy, and I'm loving it!

Murphy's Law

I feel like I've been living under a black cloud lately. You know that feeling -- like anything that can go wrong, will. It's been hanging on for close to three weeks now. And no matter what I do to wake up with a good attitude toward the day, something goes wrong.

Now I'm at the point where I have a sour stomach every day with the left overs from what has been going on. It seems I'm coming out of it, but I have some emotional baggage left still to deal with.

It first started with our local hockey team. We're very dysfunctional up here, and we always start out the season with a lot of drama. No big deal, as by about Thanksgiving the drama has resolved. This year, it hasn't. Our team manager is usually the instigator of this drama. She's into "image", and the "image" usually revolves around her son when it comes to hockey. He has to be the "star". Well, he didn't make the state team again this year, but my son, Derek, did -- again. This has always been a bone of contention for her, and so the drama begins. This year, though, the drama was/is at the insane crazy level. There's another ice rink/team down in Albuquerque who is rather cliquish, and most people just poo-poo them off as "that's the Outpost". Well, this year several of their kids also tried out for the State team and most of them did not make it. The people/association who put together the state team didn't want these kids to be left out and wanted to help develop them, so they were going to go with a "B" competetive team for them. Well, our manager and these other parents refused to let their kids play unless they could play for the "A" team, thus not having enough kids to make up a "B" team so that was abandoned.

So what happened? These parents got together under the direction of our manager and decided to make their OWN "B" team! Our manager invited all of our best players off of our local rec team, and then invited the kids from this other rink to join us. Well, okay, fine. EXCEPT that the first games scheduled were during our local team's first games -- which I didn't know. The email was sent out that our first games for our local team were in Durango. Anyway *I* thought it was our local team. I send out our calendars for our team, and sent out the scheduled games for that weekend, noting that our manager's email did not include all of our parents on our roster, so corrected it, and sent the calendar out to EVERYone on our team. Big unknown mistake on my part as I found out later. It was NOT for our local team, but this "new" team put together from our manager! She also told me just to leave off the games scheduled here in town, that it was only Durango for that weekend. On hind sight, I see what happened. Because our entire team was not invited, the kids that were not invited were just dropped from having games that weekend. But the parents who did not get the invite were furious that this was going on, that their kids' games were canceled because only half of our team was invited to go to Durango leaving not enough kids to have a game here! Yikes!

Okay, so that's going on -- still. Our local hockey board is furious with our manager; many parents are furious with our manager; and I feel like I'm between everyone because I'm listening to the woes of our manager AND the parents. In the meantime, our manager is absolutely ballistic about her son not making the state team and keeps directing her anger at me and Derek, trying to find absolutely everything wrong with Derek to try to get him banned from the rink. Which means, Derek has to be absolutely PERFECT in everything he does. Have you ever seen a kid who is absolutely perfect???? Makes it really hard and stressful on both of us... and she's been blaming Derek for absolutely every wrong that is happening, and so far he hasn't been involved in any of it, but once did have to applogize along with the other kids that were involved. I don't think he even has to be at the rink to be blamed, either. He's just automatically on the list of kids to blame now. *sigh*

Now, to continue on with our dysfunctional local hockey team...

We have an assistant coach who is... well, "odd", for lack of a better word. He's the kind of guy who comes across as really nice, cooperative, knowledgeable, etc. But behind the scenes, he's a bully to the kids. Now, I don't mean the kind of bullying that you would associate with the image of a coach, either; I do mean bully. And it's done so only the kids know it's happening, and the parents kind of ignore what their kids are telling their parents about him because he seems so nice and cooperative. He's virtually on a power trip, trying to be dictator. Never has a kind word for the kids; is known to slam the kids against the boards, or physically grab them by the neck or jersey, all because they didn't sit down when told, or because they tried to explain to him why they did what they did ("don't smart mouth me!") -- things like that. But this is all done where adults rarely see it.

This coach declined being the assistant coach this year for our local team because he volunteered to be assistant to our state team. The kids here cheered. The kids on the state team are getting a taste of him now. Now, I'm the kind of person who, after an incident has happened, tell myself that it can't be as bad as I thought. Because we both had kids on the state team this year, I agreed to share rides, and even agreed to share a hotel room for a weekend. What a mistake! After finding out that Derek was being bullied the whole way home from high school team practice in the mornings, and after being bullied myself on our shared weekend, I called it quits. I do not care to be bullied, intimitated and yelled at. And it really hit home what Derek was going through on those rides home from the rink in the mornings.

Okay, so on to his coaching on the state team. Because he knows Derek, he benched Derek over Thanksgiving. And because Derek's friend on the state team stayed with us that weekend, he benched Derek's friend. I never thought that he would do that, but he did. It's also obvious that he's talking to our head coach because I watched as the dynamics of our team changed to what we see going on here with our local team in Taos. It was chaos on the ice, with a lot of kids upset and angry. I don't think anyone else knows how our team here in Taos is, but it was obvious to me and Derek. It was this coach's team, not our head coach's. So our head coach was actually doing what this coach suggested. Our great state team has now turned to Dysfunctional Taos.

Derek says he has quit the state team. He refuses to play as long as this coach is on the bench. I really can't blame him, but this coach has our team over a barrel because his daughter is the back-up goalie. We can't even register for Nationals if we don't have two goalies rostered, and this coach's daughter will make it so we can go. She's on the team so that we can go to Nationals. If he pulls her, we can't go, simple as that. But if our head coach continues to do what our Taos coach tells him, we haven't got a chance in Nationals. We WERE a great team; now we're a joke.

So we've got that going on. I still have to call the manager of our state team and officially resign. In the meantime, if we want to play for the travel team that our local team manager put together, the rules are that Derek has to officially resign from this state team. Which leaves a sour taste in my mouth, because the other parents from the other rink absolutely hate the state team because their kids didn't make the team. So I feel that's manipulation.

So as Derek says, "hockey has really soured this year." We're looking at moving in with Mom in California and trying out for the Jr. Ducks for next year. I, for one, am tired of the drama, so have not ruled out that option. Mom, on the other hand, seems to sound thrilled at the prospect...

Okay, so that's hockey.

And then I lost my bonus at work and blew up. I guess I have a reputation for speaking my mind at work. November was the month I had several scheduled days off for hockey tournaments, so it was going to be a short paycheck month for me. I went home sick one day at the beginning of November when flu was really going around, and the supervisor on duty I guess didn't like me that day and "deviated" me. So I lost my bonus that I was counting on. All the other supervisors were shocked that she did that, so I wasn't alone in my feelings. When she told me sternly, "we have to talk about this or you're insubordinate", I just told her, "then I'm insubordinate." I thought she was going to fire me -- which, in my state of mind at the moment, was fine with me.

And then I got jury duty. On the first day I reported, when I came back to work, I couldn't park in the parking lot and had to park across the street. When I went home from work that day, I got in the truck, went to pull out, and realized that my driver's side mirror on my truck was stolen! $800. And that after I had just replaced my back bumper from some girl who "just had to see what was going on across the street" instead of looking at the cars stopped in front of her and rammed into me.

And Derek, who got flu in September, just has not fully recuperated. He's had ear infections, and this last one a couple of weeks ago, he had two ear infections, severe bronchitis, and fluid in his lungs. The doctor grounded him from ice time for a WEEK. "I'm FINE!!!" he kept proclaiming to both me and the doctor. *sigh* So I had to deal with nebulizers, inhalers, meds and keeping an active kid resting. Yeah, like asking for the moon!

And my tires are bald, and my major service on the truck is due (approximately $2,000 service every 60,000 miles -- I now have close to 70,000 miles on this new truck!!!).

Got the tires last week -- wrote a check (if I have checks, I have money, right??? lol)

So that's my black cloud. Seems to me there's more, but I can't remember what all it is. Oh, yeah -- Derek grew another two inches, and so we had to buy more hockey equipment. And the zipper on his hockey bag just broke. *sigh*

Looking for Ways to Cut the Electric Bill

Turn off the lights!"

"Close the door!"

We all grew up knowing some basic ways to keep that electric bill down. But there are some other little known ways to cut that bill that perhaps many of us don't know about.

I say "us", because this is one area I'm always learning about. So I'll explore some of the ways that at least I'm familiar with that some of you may or may not be aware of.

What most of us know

We do know that things that are "on" are using electricity. So we grew up learning to turn out lights, turn off the TV and keep the doors closed. We need to keep practicing that - become even vigilant about it -- and include items like turning off our computers, printers, and monitors when not in use. Look around and see what else is on, not being used, and turn it off.

Today, we are also exposed to "energy-saving" appliances and gadgets that are supposed to help us to keep that electric bill down. Refrigerators are big draws on electric. If you have an old refrig, you might consider upgrading to a newer model.

About refrigerators: I learned that "empty" refrigerators draw more electricity. For some reason they work harder when the refrig is near empty. Listen to your refrig. Is it on a lot? It might be because there's not much food in there. My theory is that when there are many items in there and they are all cold, they help to keep each other cold - just like an ice chest.

We've also got the new fluorescent lights that cut our bills. I have found that they actually do cut the electric bill a bit. The biggest perk I like about these new bulbs is that I don't have to replace these bulbs for YEARS! I like that... But if you think about the cost of these bulbs vs. the old bulbs, they seem expensive. Over all, I do believe they save quite a bit of money. I've bought these bulbs for about $3 a piece, and if they last about five to ten years, that's quite a savings on buying regular bulbs which I find I'm replacing a couple every month. Add to that the bit of savings in your electric bill, and it can add up. So these bulbs are a "go" on my budget.

An obvious way to save on the electric bill is solar or wind energy. Get off the grid completely! But for some of us, that investment is out of reach. I'm still working on it here, and hope to some day realize that dream!

What some of you may not know

One of the biggest pieces of information that I've learned about is "phantom" loads on our electric. I found this out when I was researching solar electric and how to get off the grid.

Phantom loads are all those appliances and gadgets that are plugged in but not really being used.

Examples:
Clocks on appliances like the microwave, coffee pot, stove
Satellite box is always on
Clocks in general
Telephone answering machines
Battery chargers
Cordless phones that have to be kept in the cradle to be charged

By doing an inventory in your home of items such as these, and then unplugging these when not in use, can really lower that electric bill! For example, I unplug the microwave and coffee pot when not in use. Do I REALLY need them plugged in all the time? Yes, it's a hassle at first to unplug and then plug in when I need to use them, but after awhile it becomes a habit and I don't even notice it.

Habits are hard to break, especially when they are convenience habits. Learning new habits can help to save some money!

What some may or may not know

Aside from my daily continuous draws on my electric consumption that I try to keep down, I have one huge draw -- my clothes dryer. I have resorted to using it ONLY in an "emergency" -- like when I have to have something dry NOW, or it's so cold outside and I'm feeling miserable.

I use my clothesline. And as long as I do, I keep my electric bill under or right around the $100 mark every month. I figure that by using my clothesline, I'm saving at LEAST $50 a month or MORE! Yes, hard to believe, but true.

I had my son go out to the electric meter one year to try to map my electric usage, and we turned off all the electric to the house, and turned each appliance/gadget on one at a time to see how much each appliance was using. When the dryer came up, it was spinning fast! That's when I repaired the clothesline.

Using the clothesline I have found to be fabulous! Not only does it make the clothes feel so fresh, but I learned that sun drying also kills any germs that may be lingering (like flu!). Putting a little fabric softener or vinegar in the wash will help keep the clothes soft.

There is a science to using a clothesline. In another blog, I tell about what I learned growing up and hanging out clothes with my mom and grandmother. Most people think "what is there to it?" But there really is some cool tricks to doing it.

Blogs About What I'm Doing to Survive

How I Got to this Point
How to Use a Clothesline
What I Use for Cleaners
My Really Basic Bare Bones Kitchen
My Working Lists

How I Got To This Point

Being a single mom with an active 13-year old in this economic climate is tough. I was making enough money from online sales to support us, and now I find I'm out pounding the pavement looking for a job -- ANY job!

Jobs in my town are hard to come by -- and I don't mean a "good" job, I mean ANY job. Businesses are closing, employees are being let go and owners are now seen working behind counters in empty stores.

This is certainly not the first time this country has seen hard economic times. Probably the worst time, though, was the Great Depression. It was during this time that many people learned to live and do without, and to make do with whatever they could find. In today's economic climate, I find that many of the practices that these people employed could possibly help with my own dismal financial situation.

True, what those people had to go through was extreme -- and I hope we don't get to that point again -- but after many of us went through the "disposable and obsolete" '50s and then taught those practices to our children and now our grandchildren, I felt it would be good to review the techniques that people like my grandparents learned to use just to survive.

I was fortunate to know my grandparents well and many of the people in their generation. And I was a good listener, with some of the stories they told beginning to surface today to haunt me as I struggle to survive.

The basic tenet is to "live without" and "never throw anything away". If you can't grow it, raise it or make it, then you do without.

This can be harsh, but some of it really isn't hard at all. For me I'm finding that it's learning the value of everything I buy or find. Can I do without? If not, what can I use instead? Do I REALLY need the items advertised on TV?

It's a mindset. It isn't about living "green", it's a mindset about how to survive.

What I'm Doing to Survive

Cutting the Electric Bill
How to Use a Clothesline
What I Use for Cleaners
My Really Basic Bare Bones Kitchen
My Working Lists

Here are some things I've run across over the years that I thought were funny.



The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List
By Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1, Fall 2007

1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

From a wise homeschooling mom on a homeschool forum:

I like to assume the best about people and represent homeschoolers as joyful, positive and friendly. I want to be confident and never defensive, even when I feel challenged. If someone heckles me, I like to take it lightly, make a friendly joke, or surprise them by saying something complementary, like, I like your dress. That way, everyone walks away smiling.

Q: What about socialization?
A: We're not socialists

Q: What about testing?
A: They test me everyday.

Q: How will they get into a college?
A: Through a door I assume.

Q: Are those all yours?
A: Just a minute while I check my roster.

Q: Have you figured out what causes that?
A: Yes. I will explain it to you later.

Q: Are you crazy?
A: I like your dress.

What About Socialization for Homeschoolers?

This is probably the question that most parents ask and gets in the way of choosing to homeschool. The most frequent question asked of homeschoolers is, "What about socialization?"

To pull your child out of school means to pull them out of a learning environment surrounded by many other children of the same age and to bring them home to learn in an isolated environment. If you have several children at home, it will not be isolated, but still it will be apart from the school and other children outside of the family, and therefore considered "isolated". The environment at school may be good in your school, but it may not be. What is your child learning socially from the children around him or her and from the curriculum? That is the key question that needs to be answered.

What "Socialization" means in the school environment
I have never been concerned about my son's socialization since we have been homeschooling. But I definitely was concerned with socialization when my son was in public school! One year (at age 9 when he was still in public school), my son made the decision to imitate the kids around him so he would “fit in”. And if anyone has experienced the kids at our school, you’d be horrified! So, yes, I was very concerned about his socialization in public school. After the first year of not being in public school, I’m happy to report that my son’s behavior has changed back RADICALLY for the better!

For me, my son was learning rude and disrespectful behavior while in school. It was okay to talk back to adults and be disrespectful to others. I have found that today talking back is defined differently, so what I find disrespectful is accepted today. I feel there are very few boundaries about how to treat others and their things with respect. There are no consequences for this behavior, so the modeling is that it's okay to behave this way because you won't get into trouble. You only get into trouble for "big" things, like bringing a weapon to school, and sometimes for fighting.

My son also had to learn to fight to defend himself. He had to put up with ridicule, whether it was for how he dressed or because he brought a book to school to read when he finished an assignment ahead of others in his class. He learned a new "vocabulary" and learned about drugs (through peers and the curriculum). He also learned about racism through the curriculum (multiculturalism: "why are people with dark skin bad?" -- he was in third grade), which transferred over to later grades with all the children attending school, because it is what the curriculum taught.

He learned to be afraid of ALL people he didn't know ("stranger danger"), and to be afraid to do anything for fear of being hurt (safety). He used to climb trees, but by the end of kindergarten wouldn't be caught near them for fear of being hurt.

He also was trained that only people his age were worth being his friends, and to stick together with only his age group. He also learned about time limits, that if he wanted to pursue something further, he couldn't. This also goes along with it's not "cool" to want to learn further about something. Learning about how to dress "cool" was another thing he learned, and our trips to go clothes shopping became more complicated when looking for clothes to buy for him.

Along with learning how to dress, he also learned about all the latest gadgets that kids had, so therefore he had to have too. PSP? He had to have one. iPod? He had to have one. Star Wars or Disney in? Everything had to be that. The social commercialism in schools today is overwhelming. The school also advertised milk in the cafeteria (although no advertising was permitted!), so he would say he had to drink milk to be healthy and everyone drank it. My son was allergic to milk. It was hard to get the concept across to him that he couldn't drink it when everyone else did, and of course, the school would not accommodate his allergy. He also learned about junk food and soda pop from the other kids who would bring it to school (although our school would confiscate the soda pop but not the other junk food). He would see this and demand these items of food.

So is the school environment good for your child? If the above is okay with you, then maybe you don't mind the social environment your child is in.

Teaching the real value of being a friend and having friends
For me, I want to be in control of what values and behavior my child will learn. I do not want the values taught in school to be transferred to my son. Will he have friends? Absolutely! The friends he has are neighbors and kids on his hockey team and in his chess club. And they are not all his own age, either. He has friends of many different ages. I think friends of only one age are not healthy; the world is not segregated by age, so to learn to be friends with different ages I feel is very important.

He is very selective about who to call "friend", too. Not just "anyone" will he accept as a friend. He has set criteria for someone to be his friend, unlike what the school was trying to teach him. In school, teachers were worried that he wasn't making friends with any of his classmates. When I looked around at the children in the class, not only could I understand why he wasn't "friends" with any of them, but was grateful he did NOT consider any of them friends! The actual friends he had at school were the ones that he already was friends with from the different activities he participated in. They had something in common and they all shared most of the same values.

So my question was, does a child HAVE to be friends with someone in class even though they don't share any common interests or values? According to the school, yes; children have to be friends with everyone. To be a friend, though, the friends have to share common interests and values. To be a friend, my son would have to give up his values and interests to be a friend and to "fit in" with the general population.

I did not want him to be like the rest of the kids. I did not like the values they had.

If this is okay, then "socializing" your kids in school should be fine. For me, it wasn't. I wanted my son to be polite and respectful. I wanted him to have his own values, to make up his own mind about what he liked and didn't like, what was right or wrong, not to be strongly persuaded by the children around him or to face the consequence of being rejected socially. I wanted him to be his own person.

"Yes, but..."
"Yes, but," you may ask. "Doesn't socializing in school teach my child to deal with people he doesn't like?"

My answer to this is "yes and no". Yes, a child needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people. When they are an adult they will have to deal with all kinds of people they may not like or who give them a hard time. BUT -- and it's a big "but" -- while they are learning about life while a child, this is the time to give them a strong foundation in all areas of life to be able to deal with anything that may come their way. To be bombarded with people and situations that are against his/her values and beliefs and that do not agree with them is unfair in my opinion, and interferes with learning about other things they should or want to know. Now and then to run across someone who gives them a hard time is one thing and can be a learning experience on a situational basis, but to be under pressure day in and day out is quite another. Peer pressure, even at very early ages, is extremely strong. To me, that is the biggest obstacle children have in school.

To me, childhood should be a fun and explorative age. Children do not get this in a school setting. Instead, they are forced to conform, whether by school rules or by social pressure. They are supposed to fit the mold, blend in, not rock the boat. A child who does not conform will be ostracized by other children, and sometimes even by the adults in the school.

So “socialization” really depends upon HOW you want your child to be socialized!

Also, the schools will tell the kids that they’re not there to “socialize”. Hmmm?

Questions to ponder
What’s the difference between “socialization” and “peer pressure”?

If age-segregated social organization is so great, why don’t we exercise it in the adult world? For example, if you are not turning 40 before August of ’08, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.

How can we teach children that race segregation is wrong in a setting where they are segregated by age?

What is “normal” about an institutional environment where socialization is done in 10-minute increments and regulated by the ringing of a bell?

Why would we want our children to be “socialized”? We are not socialists.

Homeschooling Laws

There is Federal Law and there is State Law. Of course State Law varies from state to state, but Federal Law covers the entire country.

There is only one thing I want to add under this heading that I think is very important, and that has to do with FEDERAL law.

Be VERY careful about public schools. It is ultimately up to the school about what will be required of -- or taught to -- your child – NOT the parent. Once you drop your child off at the door to the public school, you have relinquished all control and rights over your child – so say the Federal courts. Not one parent that I have heard of has won in court.

Yes, you might be lucky enough to get a teacher/principal/school to work with you on the subjects you object to – but then again you may not. When my son was in public school, I wanted to be notified when objectionable subjects were going to be taught so that I could either be there or have a sick day. I was NEVER notified – and we’re talking about teachers and administration with whom I am friends.

Yes, you as a parent have the right to look over all curriculum, but you do NOT have the right to say what you want or not want taught to your child! (or even exposed to!)

So everyone with kids in public school or contemplating putting them back in, please be wary.

Where to find out about your State's homeschooling laws
After you have decided whether you want to homeschool or not, you need to check the laws for your state so that you can comply. There are some states that have little to no regulation, and some that are so regulated you might as well keep them in school! Here is the definitive site to research about the laws where you live:

Home School Legal Defense Association

Not only does this site help you to find the laws in your state, it will also keep you up to date about what is going on in your state and also in the nation. It also sometimes talks about homeschooling challenges in other countries. You can join this organization for a yearly fee, and it will legally represent you if you happen to have any trouble while homeschooling.

Public School Curriculum

Reading
Have you ever compared a newly-printed classic book with one printed, say, 50 years ago? You haven’t? Well, I suggest you do because you’ll be shocked!

Our classics are being rewritten. Really. Rarely will one find a classic that really is reprinted word-for-word. The publishers say it’s to bring the language of the books up to current-day language. But what’s really ending up happening is that the rich vocabulary is being lost and the complex sentence structure of beautiful writing is being lost. They’ve become very easy to read, in other words.

And the government and schools say that our reading level has improved... sorry, I just don’t buy it! I have my son reading vintage and antique classic books. By the end of our first year of homeschooling he was EASILY reading at high school level! He’s in seventh grade this year, and except for his maturity about what he understands, he can easily read college texts. He complained this year about what really bad readers some of his friends are and he also said that the kids in his Sunday School class could barely read. Well, those kids and friends read great – are in top classes or on honor roll, most of them – according to the public schools they are in.

Math
The kids coming out of school now just plain old don’t know math. If they get through fractions well, I’d be surprised. Math is given in little snippets of information that is supposed to get the kids to grasp the concept. Well, actually what I’ve seen is that the books go overboard in trying to get the kids to grasp the concept so then lose the kids about what they’re supposed to be learning. It’s like they’re being so careful to make sure the kids “get it”, that they just lose them.

This is what is called the New New Math that’s being taught. I have NO idea how to explain it to you because I just don’t get it. But it has to do with things like breaking down the numbers to zero numbers, i.e. 2,652 = 2000 + 600 + 50 + 2. How they do long division with that is absolutely beyond me. You can find it on the net if you really want to know. But the bottom line is that it’s just not working.

Have you had anyone count back your change at the cash register lately? Or how about a kid who makes a mistake on the register and then has to figure out manually what he owes you in change? Frustrating, isn’t it? This is only one by-product of our math in school nowadays.

Another thing that I have found through my teacher classes is that the focus is also on trying not to make things hard for the kids. The subject matter can't be hard because then the child will feel bad, so the curriculum and teaching has to be made "easy" and "fun" so the child will feel good about learning it. Having a child struggle to learn is a big no-no.

Grammar, Spelling and Writing
There is a sign outside of a house that says “The Smith’s”. Yes, that’s right, the singular possessive. I would assume that the sign is advertising a family with the surname of Smith, and there is more than one family member, right? So that would make “Smith” plural. Signs, newspapers, magazines and many publications that are for the PUBLIC to read (therefore, in my opinion, should be examples of good grammar and spelling), are becoming notoriously rife with misspellings, like the above example. I remember when it used to be very rare for something like that to happen; now it’s becoming common. I’ve even seen misspellings on billboards! I couldn’t tell you how grammar is being taught in the schools today other than I notice that workbooks are a very common way of teaching now. In my opinion, those workbooks are NOT teaching the kids coming out of school.

Writing is also learned through filling in the blanks in workbooks with an occasional report thrown in. I can’t see how this is teaching kids to get their thoughts down on paper.

As far as penmanship -- forget it! The current thinking is that we have computers, so why do we have to have good handwriting?

I actually believe that there's more to handwriting than "pretty" and "neat". I believe that practicing good handwriting somehow links the brain and trains the brain in some way to fine motor skills and maybe more things that we haven't seen yet. There are progressions in physical and mental development that need to be met to produce an adult that can do many things without problems. I'm not sure we're developing fine motor skills any more unless someone learns how to bait a hook on a fishing pole or learns to hand sew -- things like that. Only time will tell if we're leaving out an important developmental step and what the repercussions are.

Some Problems Today with our Public Schools

Even though there is a big ripple going through our country that our schools are in trouble, there are still many parents who believe in our schools, and that their children will still get an education by attending them. Let’s look at some problems with our schools today.

Environment
There is a growing trend among our children in this country that violence, rudeness, bad behavior and attitudes are “cool”. This is reinforced by many parents who behave the same way as their children do – or simply look the other way. Our movie industry, video industry and music industry all attest to this by the huge profits they make from products that contain these behaviors. It is not common to find nonviolence in any of these industries. Plus, the movie industry and TV portray disrespect and rudeness. Kids nowadays find that any movie, TV program or music that does not portray these behaviors and attitudes are for sissies or are boring – basically, “uncool”. And to reinforce this even more, parents also like these movies, programs, music and videos.

Our schools, of course, are full of these kids. It is the “norm” in our schools, not the exception any more. Sexuality is also another characteristic that has become the norm in our schools – especially for middle- and high-school girls. Fashion is one thing – whether those of us in the older generation like it or not – but we’re talking about bare midriffs, half a girl’s bottom showing, breasts being very exposed, and lots of seductive make-up. The fashions for girls have also become very sexy – slinky, whatever you want to call it. Some are beautiful (in my opinion) but are not made for little girls, and I’ve seen many elementary (K-6) school girls wearing these, too. But the fashion industry is making these clothes, and (again, in my opinion) encouraging this. The parents also encourage this by allowing their children to dress this way and buy these clothes.

Drugs are also prevalent on many school campuses, even at the elementary school level.

Discipline
With the laws that we now have in place, our teachers and administrators of our schools really have their hands tied. There is only so much they can do. There is no more being sent to the principal’s for a swat; there is no more dunce cap; there is no more being put in the corner facing the wall. These are all “abusive” tactics. A teacher can put a child in time-out, but that child cannot face the wall – the child still has to be “included” as part of the class. A teacher cannot isolate a child from the classroom; it will “hurt the child’s self-esteem”.

I have seen some very disruptive kids where the principal has to call the parents to come pick up their child from school. And I have seen those kids wait in the office or principal’s office the entire day until the parent or parents decide to pick up their child. I have also witnessed children running off campus, with the principal and/or teacher running after the child, and the parents still do not come.

I have not only witnessed, but heard from teachers and principals alike that when a parent is asked to help with the behavior of their child in school, that the parent says, “It’s your problem, not mine.”

Yes, there are many positive reinforcement tactics that a teacher can use, but there are a growing number of children who just do not respond to them. They simply could care less. (“You won’t be able to go on the field trip.” “So?”)

Classroom and Teachers
I must really say that I really feel sorry for teachers today. Between discipline, no parent cooperation and now we’ve got that "No Child Left Behind Act” thrown at those poor teachers, you've simply got nothing left of a "teacher" any more. The teacher has now become a bureaucrat and a statistician -- and their jobs are at risk if the statistics in their classroom do not meet the required statistics of that Act for the year. In other words, they have to teach to The Test, not teach the children. And the kids have become a statistic now, too. It's pathetic. There’s barely enough time to teach any more. It's all about The Test.

Of course, there's more to the problem of our failing schools than that, but that's a biggie right now for the teachers. Another biggie I find: the behavior of "mainstream" kids is so gross nowadays, and I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the parents for that. Teachers and administrators (principals) can only do so much within the law to grapple with these kids. And those kids end up taking up most of the time in the classroom, thus taking the time away from the kids who do want to learn. And lots of times the kids who suffer the most are the ones who need the extra attention.

Yes, crowded classrooms make it difficult, but that has never stopped good teachers from being able to teach well. Teachers' and administrators' nerves are strung too tight nowadays to be able to do even a mediocre job.

Remember the one-room schoolhouses? Many of those were not small, and the teacher was not only teaching to different learning abilities, but also to different ages. So I disagree to some extent about how many kids are in a class.

In my humble opinion, teaching is an art. There are as many ways of teaching as there are different types of artists. And many teachers were "called" to teach or have a "passion" to teach. They love working with kids. It's a creative endeavor. But just like anything else in our society, there are bad apples in the lot, too -- of course.

Where I see the problem with our public schools is the "institution" or the "system". Teachers and administrators alike are now dictated to about what they can and cannot do or teach in the classroom. There is very little room for creative teaching any more.

With the No Child Left Behind Act it's become increasingly so. This is also compounded by the current behavior of kids and their parents nowadays. So many parents look at school as a babysitter. And so many parents do not correct bad behavior -- and/or think rude and bad behavior is okay and normal (“cool”), or even think that the child has a right to express him/herself. Teachers and administrators (principals) can only do so much within the law to grapple with these kids. And those kids end up taking up most of the time in the classroom, thus taking the time away from the kids who do want to learn. And lots of times the kids who suffer the most are the ones who need the extra attention.

School districts decide on the curriculum and even decide on the way to teach and to discipline. In our district, we use the Open Court curriculum and the Baldridge method of teaching/disciplining (as I understand this program). Between these two factors alone, the teachers have it really rough, and the ones who suffer in the end are the kids. There is just no room or time any more; it’s sink or swim for the kids. The teachers are now there to just follow a script.

So when I hear or read that the teacher doesn’t have time for a child because there’s too many kids in the classroom or that the teacher has a short temper – yes, I agree – but I also understand where the teacher is coming from.

I am just SO THANKFUL that we have the option of teaching our kids at home now – to take them out of that environment, to cater and create to their learning styles, and to make sure they ARE learning. We have the CHOICE now.